Turn On The Bright Lights

The world at large from a glance is much more than what can be perceived on the surface; the world should be taken further beyond the beautiful weather, architecture, technological gadgetry, and landscape. The world at large should be seen beyond the warm glow of the Sun, quick breeze through the trees, and sunset painted over the horizon.
Sleepwalking is the one state that we have heard about for years that "few" people encounter in their lives. The state of being sleep but having the bodily functions of doing normal tasks that one would do while they are "awake." But, then I had a conversation with Steve (my uncle Roger's friend) this weekend about this. He questioned me on whether or not we all were sleepwalkers in a sense. It makes complete sense to question if we all are walking around this planet (so we think) quite aware of our surroundings or if we all could truly be asleep.

But, then I question you as the reader with this tidbit of curiousity, "Could we all truly be asleep to what's truly going on in the world at large and could we truly be dreaming this reality we consider to be life?" I am a Christian young man, so for me to ask this question most would label me as an Atheist or non-believer to even ask such a thing. But, in this world, it's the subjects, matters, and things that we don't question that might be the things that we really should be questioning in the first place.

I believe that there are four major arenas of mind control in this world: military, consumerism, politics and religions. I have this theory that in order to control a person, the person being controlled must be "half-a-moron." Most people need to be lead by some arena to consider what is right or wrong in their lives. This is where the four arenas of mind control or programming come into place. Most people are influenced greatly by either the military, consumerism, politics, or religion (Some people are influenced by all while others are influenced by maybe one of the arenas). We are thought to think differently in our lives when in reality to think differently is definitely shunned out by the masses.

Getting back to the arenas of mind control, here's a few examples:

Military-Most of the recruitment offices in this nation are primarily in lower class neighborhoods where generally the educational advantages do not reside like they do in middle and upper class cities. The poor Black, Latino, and Causaian male and woman are generally targeted for recruitment with the propaganda of receiving money for college and perks of traveling the world. Seeing the world and earning money for college being two things that can easily lure these young men and women into signing their lives onto a contract to be basically a slave for whatever projected amount of time they are to be enlisted. In the time that these young men/women are enlisted, they are sleep-deprived, and ordered around todo tendious things that can be mentally and physically stressful to any human being. The mind control of lurring these young men and women into signing their lives away into an organization that brands them as caddle and makes them believe doing what is best for one's country is a grand thing even if it means risking one's life.

Consumerism- The media has a way of keeping all of us under a very watchful eye. Targeting all of us into buying things that we really don't need and manipulating us into believing that spending excessive amounts of money on a particular object, article, or thing will make you feel better. For example, the Axe deodorant advertisements generally show an average looking male spraying a can of the product on himself and being adored by scandally-clad women...(subliminal message..."YOU TOO CAN HAVE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMEN ADORING YOU AS WELL...BUY AXE NOW!!!") They feed us all of this depressing bad news on TV to keep you sad and stressed out to then feed you with a iPod, Best Buy, BMW, Gap, etc advertisement to get you to go buy these things that will so-called make you feel better about yourself. The mind control of this arena is to keep those in check by startling them with bad news then appeasing them with consumer goods that they don't need to keep them ignorant to the world at large. As long as these material things are around, the world will stay ignorant.

Politics- We are given two major political genres to choose from in this country: Republican or Democrat. Why are we limited to just these two genres? Yes, there are other genres of political groups, but why are we limited to basically these two? I don't see how people don't see that labelling yourself to one thing is not a great thing at all! You labelling your as anything will cause you to believe that you are this label and also can cause you to do, act, speak, and believe in this label. You are putting yourself in a box by putting a political (or any) label on yourself.

Religion- I know a lot of people don't like to question religion, so I am going to make one remark about this one. We all do things everyday and don't question why we do so because we are taught that these are the right things to do. But, there is certain aspects of even my religion that I question.

The Labels of Thinking Differently:

If you think differently from the norm towards the military, you are un patriotic

If you think differently from the norm towards being a mass consumer like most people are, you are seen as weird or not cool

If you think differently from the norm politically, you are an anarchist

If you think differently from the norm religiously, you are an atheist.

If God gave us all minds to think for ourselves, why do so many people need these arenas of mental imprisonment to manipulate and think for them?

Theory of Self-Preservation

I haven't written anything since last Wednesday. We all know what happened the last time I wrote a blog...utter chaos in a matter of a few stanzas. I'm not going to apologize for writing the poem when I felt it was needed at the time. Some people you think will never do you any harm to you because you have known them for quite sometime are usually the ones that do you the most damage. It's now that I am realizing that people that you barely talk to (maybe an occasional once a month call or e-mail) are the people that you should be talking to more frequently.

I have learned this over the past week. I have looked at a few examples; one being a friend of mine that started an relationship with a guy she barely knew. She met this guy over the Internet. He flew over 2,000 miles to see her and now they are a couple. It's truly weird in most people's sight to see something like this be created amongst two individuals. But, now that I have realized this theory of those being the closest to you cause the most damage and those not so close should be the closest, I have come to the realization that knowing someone a lifetime means absolutely nothing. You can know someone for years, and they still will cause hurt, harm, or danger to you. It's sad, but it's a part of the human make-up. We all do things to benefit ourselves in the long run. Self-preservation as such. But, why is it the ones that you "know" very well (so, that you think) are usually the shadiest and most deceitful people that are around you? It's a bit sadistic for someone to find out everything about you damn near to just leave you at a drop of a dime. Quite interesting this is, but maybe this was my bad karma in return for what I did to my ex-girlfriend. Maybe it was.

Maybe we can be associates in another light; maybe we can.

Thanks.

Man, this shit is self-explanatory. I don't wanna make people think that I write these bitter and savage poems just because; I always have a muse for such bitter imagery. Thanks!

I tried to be the best friend I could be

Wondering and praying 1 day you would need me

A mistake I was seen

A mirror split screen image of your bluntness

Had no problem with dishin' out bricks at others

Why the fuck did I trust this?

This waste of sperm and female egg

Heart ripped open, you through me in a cave

Screamed out ghost songs of slaves

Before my corpus was found in three days

Insecurities covered by prestigious collegiate knowledge

And bitchy backtalk

I loved you for your "realness"

In this box I got locked

If you were here I would treat you

Like the Brit Barbie

Another fake bitch thrown in the Pacific

The games you played terrific

Love potion bein broken

You neglecting me after I found out my cousin died

That shit wasn't scripted

My heart you threw, pulled and ripped it

My smile, killed and ate it

Seven years after martial law

Your belligerence I will say I never forgave it

Hollywood couldn't sell an earthy bitch

The audiences couldn't crave it

Rather than realness

She chose ridin' dicks of "yes" men

Named Sundiata and David

Don't tell me you love me for the same reason

That you hate it

You told them to lick your ass and feed you bullshit of how great you are

And of course, the pussy niggas worshipped and obeyed it

Check everything I stated

My love for your selfishness I traded

I was too blunt and too belligerent

I never kissed your ass and I never said you were perfect

Another genocide in my heart, mind, body, and soul

You burn me down, incinerate it

While my heart you ravish and rape it

Autodafe you displayed it

You left me to destroy myself

While you walk off in the sunset

With 100 pussy niggas

Makin' the little Muslim insecure girl feel better about herself

Believing that her knowledge through books defines her self worth

Lyin' to you, they do saying that you are the greatest

Now you laugh off the catastrophe that you paved this

Now pay this.

Clean Up On Aisle 2.

Most women that I have encountered in my life "say" that they love the fact that I am blunt and have no problem with stating what is exactly on my mind. But, the more and more I have encountered variously different women in social status, race, religion, etc, I have noticed that fondness of my slight belligerence was all a bunch of shit. I have always had this saying that the world is built upon opposites; people will tell you exactly what they want you to hear and truly hate the kind of person you really are.

A friend of mine ("I'm so opinionated; I'm so blunt," she says about herself) indeed was no exception to the built upon opposites rule I proclaim. Stating that the main reason she enjoys my company is because I'm blunt, but then I realized that I was hated as well for my blunt demeanor. It's just interesting how women say they want a guy to be blunt, and really hate the fact of bluntness in their direction. Don't say you like my bluntness to turn around and lash out at me for stating the obvious. If you want a guy to kiss your ass, feed you bullshit, eat Bon Bon's and watch Lifetime with you; stick with the guys around you that share the same menstrual cycle.

Acceptance.

"Most of this garbage I write that these people seem to like is about you and how I let you infect my life."
-Slug (of Atmosphere)

It's been 8 days since I have posted a blog on here, and I has reminded by a dorky friend of mine that eventually my readers would grow restless without reading anything brand new from me. In the past seven days, I have had an extremely blessed week! My very small-time entity of a business did hella impressive numbers last Thursday, and my clientele list was grown tremendously over the past few weeks. Business is always a good thing; you must always stay grounded when your sales jump tremendously and hustle your ass off when things get a little rough. This leads me to today's topic....

Why do we drink and do drugs? I (for one) don't smoke or do any drugs, but then again, I do drink amongst friends. I don't necessarily know why I drink alcohol...HEY...maybe that's why. I drink because everyone else my age does so. During a young adult's collegiate time period is when most of the beer and alcohol binging begans. It's weird how I almost don't see myself as a conformist, but the irony of me drinking amongst friends for a subliminal acceptance.

Going out last night for New Year's Eve to San Francisco and seeing how we at this young age of twentysomething (the stage of life in between high school and the "real world" when you are most confused) are a lost generation. We are the most materialistic generation (with our iPods, HDTV's, etc.) and we love the idea of getting totally wasted. It's more of an acceptance to get completely intoxicated to degrading yourself to doing absolutely obnoxious antics (such as running down Embarcadero screaming at tourists). But, this is my generation. We love our booze and we love our ignorance. "Hell, I don't give a damn about what's going on in Iran; let's get wasted and play music on my brand new iPod." This quote that I just wrote reminds me of something an acquaintance of mine back on campus said when the ex-New York Yankee's leer jet crashed into a building in New York City earlier this Fall. She said, "Imagine if you were walking with your iPod on and seeing that plane crash into that building." And this leads back to my point, we are blinded by our technological gadgetry and by our legal drugs of alcohol and tobacco.

From seeing how obnoxious my friends and other people were acting under the influence of alcohol and other substances, I had the epiphany of not wanting to drink anymore. Asking myself repeatedly as I walked and they staggered down the waterfront of piers on a crisp night in San Francisco why I degrade and slowly kill myself with the demon in the bottle. "It's liquid cocaine," I told a friend earlier this afternoon. It's such a terrible and expensive habit that's making some sober man extremely rich as we kill ourselves slowly.

You did it to yourself.

Yes, I do write down and publish all of my feelings on these blogs for the world to see. "Why the hell would you put your business out there like that?" Because I have the right to write about anything that comes to my mind. I don't feel the need to write the typical college "frat boy-esque...Damn I got hella drunk at the mega kegger last night" type of blogs like most. Writing about my pains and struggles in essence does make me feel better.

To sit here and write two poems that are utterly vivid and morbid in imagery then have the balls to put them on the internet was a little risque. But, then again, I have no problem with people seeing who I really am. Most people would take it as "airing my dirty laundry out" in public; I take it as releasing a lot of aggression.

Everyone that I know has someone that they can talk to about any problem that may be occurring in their lives; I don't have such a luxury. When I finally give another human being a chance to see me for all of my many flaws, imperfections, and pitfalls, eventually they find a way to sabotage our friendship. Well, I guess it's not really a friendship. It's more like an association. We become associates only with a temporary time line. It always seems to happen with the people I consider great friends, but then learn I am not considered as great of a friend in their eye sight.

There has been times in my life when the majority of the people that I have encountered were not on the same wavelength as me. I have many friends...well, associates...that I can't talk to about my deepest most inner believes about the world at large because they won't understand. But, then again, I have had maybe two people that I considered associates that were on the same wavelength as me that understood my politics completely. This leads me to my point. I have finally met some one that I thought was on the same wavelength as me, but turned out to think that they were beyond my understanding of the world at large.

The irony of speaking to someone everyday for hours upon hours (via text message literally from 7:00 A.M.-7:00P.M.) for almost 3 months to hear about what great things "whatcha ma call it" is doing in New Orleans or how "so and so" is in grad school in New York and eventually finding out you aren't even mentioned at all to any of the people she mentions all the time.

Some things I can't forget; some things you will regret.

The Nine Lives Effect

"Another mannequin when all I wanted was a friend."

A line from a song I wrote earlier this year. I like to say sometimes that we are all like cats; we have nine lives as well. Some say that it's more like a new chapter in their lives when they turn the page of one situation or phase in their life and move onto the next. But, as for me I like to consider it like a metamorphosis. It's like my analogy about being cat-like, every hardship in my life was made me stronger. I have grown to have a greater perspective on the world at large (I really like that saying, "World at large"). Every soap opera-esque episode that I have encountered in my life has made me that much stronger as a human being. Going through the hardships of my life felt like I have shed off layers of skin as serpents do. Parts of me die with every chapter in my life. I grow stronger in a positive aspect, but also, I grow darker.

From learning or even realizing that you aren't the "muse" to someone to realizing that you were a part of some one's dramatic and brutal soap opera are some of the things that have caused me to die more than once. Therefore, my friends, the feline species and I have a lot in common. We both would rather be alone; we both die more than once to blossom up and live once more.

P.S. Old habits do die hard; excuse me for my resentment, S.T.

Kids Bleeding For Your Merry Christmas.

I haven't written a blog in a while. Well...it's only been a few days, but I usually write a blog everyday.

There kids right now making the dolls, clothes, and shoes that you are craving on Christmas day. Large companies (such as Nike, Wal-Mart, Lacoste, Polo, etc) have "manufactoring warehouses" where thousands of native kids in these third-world countries (such as Indonesia, Pakistan, Taiwan, etc.) are paid less than an equivalent of 100 U.S. dollars a month. You have children as young as five years old working in these "manufactoring warehouses." One of the laws that is imposed on the laborers in manfacturing your over-priced material goods (such as your $90 dollar Lacoste polo shirt that costs only $2 dollars to make) is the laborers are not allowed to go to school.



The meager income that these children recieve is just enough to get enough food for the family. These children are not educated, and work under some extremely harsh and dangerous conditions. But, I'm sure after you open your gifts, realize that you have another pair of Prada or Jordan shoes, hangbags (to add to your closet to collect dust) you will forget about what it took for you to even see these overly-priced goods. There are people starving and being in a modern day slavery that we call "cheap labor" so that little Travis and little Janee can play with their Mattel toys. There is a six-year old Filipino boy that worked in a sweatshop bare foot sweating from the sweltering 90 degree heat of the warehouse to sew your thousand dollar Dolce & Gabbana gown. All of these material things mean nothing. You are spending hundreds upon thousands of dollars on material goods just to cover up all of your many insecurities. You are buying things that won't make you consciously feel better, but subconsciously make you feel better. A temporary void that is filled within you when you open that gift to see some diamond earrings that some West African kids bled over. Kids having their hands severed over these diamonds. We are all spending unneccessary amounts of money to feel our many voids, so that these conglomerates can continue to reap the benefits of our ignorance. This will continue to occur as long as these corporations are in control of our world's consumerism. Just remember next time when you go to Bloomingdale's and spend $300 dollars on a pair of Chloe glasses that you are contributing to child slavery.













Check out this site:
http://endchildlabor.org

Modern Day Slavery.

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I know this is going to go over most of your heads, but watch the entire video before you judge. Maybe, next time you will think before you start to snap dance, Chicken Noodle Soup, or go dumb.

A minstrel show is a form of entertainment used to degrade blacks. The white performers used coal to cover their faces completely black and even black performers (knowing that they wouldn't be able to find any other acting jobs) did so as well. It originated in the United States and in Europe as well during slavery and continues on even today.

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Maybe next time the snap dance won't seem so cool, and then again most of you that just watched these videos are going to keep doing your slave dances anyway because everyone else is.

Weathered.

12/5/06
The notes from hearing Chris from that familiar and strangely-popular band, Coldplay danced in his ears. The thoughts and memories of that one person that he treated like shit because she wasn’t beautiful enough or even thin enough. The feeling of walking down the desolate road towards his farmhouse from the illuminated campus in his background bringing clear pearls from his eyes. Black pupils were now prevalent were there once were bright brown eyes. The first chords of the piano in the song “Trouble” reminding him of how much trouble he had been to everyone who had ever loved him. The thought of wanting to just get up and jump off the edge of the two-story balcony outside his room became more evident. But, he repressed this thought for he knew that his family and friends would need him eventually. Even if not now; eventually they would need him.
Peering back and forth, forward and backward throughout his room in the dim light of the 5:24 evening, he realized something that he hadn’t before ever in his life. He had never felt so low ever, and he began to question why he was feeling low now. “Oh…never mind…I know why,” he replied to himself as the first haunting cords of his favorite band, Chevelle’s song, “Closure” began to play in the background. Hearing this song helped him realize that he had destroyed any kind of relationship with anyone that truly gave a shit about him. Any great soul of a woman in his life, he couldn’t realize how much of a jewel had stood in his presence. He would find ways of sabotaging their interaction. But then in return, months later with another female he cared for more, he would treat her subconsciously better than he had the one that gave a fuck about him in the first place. Karma would then bite him in the ass for hurting the previous girl that cared for him by the current female pulling some kind of a stunt to sabotage their friendship/relationship/whatever you want to call it.
“Do I ever cross your mind…anytime/ do you ever wake up reaching out for me?” he swayed back and forth remembering the one he shouldn’t have left. The remaining minutes of “Anytime” by Brian McKnight pushing him more into the reason why he sat in his room alone in the first place. “I miss you….I miss you…I miss you.”