We all have these things that are going on with us that we do not even tell the closest people around us. There are things that my parents do not know about me; there are things that my inner circle of friends do not know about me as well. I have struggled in this past sixteen months of being out of college (yes...out of college) emotionally, physically, and definitely financially.
Emotionally I have fought with the struggle of wondering my own self-worth. I have found myself beating myself up and falling apart to the brinks of breaking down at my loneliest points. There's nothing more disturbing and eerie than looking at the person in the mirror and not noticing who that person truly is. I have scraped, clawed, and fought my own self to figure out what it is that I truly would like to do with my life. Being out of college for this past sixteen months has been a truly hard task for me to realize since it was more of a comfort zone for me. To go from being in college, living on campus and not having a care in the world other than "Damn...did I pass that Sociology exam?" to now "Damn...how the hell am I going to come up with this rent money?" was been a true struggle for me. But, I have come to grips with dealing with growing up.
Physically I have changed tremendously in the past sixteen months. Living on campus, we were subjected to eating disgusting food that was full of preservatives. As soon as you would digest it, it would be gone. So from the five years of undergraduate study living on campus, I lost a tremendous amount of body fat. I was a lot leaner on campus. I came back home in May 2007 and I remember by July 2007, I had gained ten pounds. Now, it is September of 2008, and I know that for sure I have gained 25 to 30 pounds since I have been home! My diet was been pretty fucked up since I have been home. The late-night bar binges and ten P.M. trips to the local taqueria to get a carne asada burrito definitely was starting to show. I worked out five times a week at college, and ate five meals a day. My metabolism was sky-high, but let's remember, I was on the meal plan so I didn't have to pay for groceries really. I came home broke as hell, and the majority of my diet was the dollar-menu at fast food spots. Hence, came the weight gain! I have started back in the gym and the weight is starting to come back off again. Thank God!
Financially was become the biggest hurdle for me to conquer in the past sixteen months. Last August, I had sold my whole inventory from wholesaling to move into my place with my roommates. After about two months, I realized that the whole roommate situation would not work out for me. I should have learned that in college. I was spending 300-400 dollars a month on gas from commuting a 60 mile round trip to and fro everyday. I was out of business for about 3 months without any kind of solid income and it was definitely a rough time for me. I started my wholesale business back up in November last year and the money started to become a lot more steady. Then, the rent started to get extremely hectic. I had fallen behind on paying the rent a few times before I decided to move out of the house with the roommates and moved into my own place (where I am living at now) last year. I have been here almost two months now; finances are still getting my ass, but it is a lot easier minus the $400 monthly gas bill!
With all of this written, I have come to realize that my finances have been the hardest thing for me to juggle this past sixteen months of independence. I have been living "the rock star life." Partying 3 times a week, buying clothes and shoes very frequently, and traveling have all been a part of this "rock star life." I have been going through my second childhood with buying all these clothes and shoes as of late. I enjoy looking and dressing well, but I need to find a balance between want and necessity. I am now twenty-four (as of last Monday the 22nd), and it is time to take my mutual funds and invest more for a expotential gain of funds. I plan to retire by fourty-five (YES...45 years of age!).
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