So I'm sitting here in the middle of my room watching my fingers race at this keyboard trying to understand why I am so uncertain with what I am to be doing with my life currently. Why does this thing called "college" seem like a big waste of time? I realize that receiving a degree would be a great accomplishment, but something in me just doesn't have the drive to want to finish. I think that maybe travelling over 3,000 miles to this college in the remote rural land of Maryland from the lively urban California is becoming more than displeasing. I have thought that maybe going back to California to complete my degree might be a great thing for me to do after I have realized that my graduation date has yet extended back another semester. It was projected for this December of this year of 2007, but it's looking more like May of 2008. I am already 22 years old and I feel like I am much too old to be here fraternizing with such young and puerile kids running about this campus, all hormone-raged and such. I was fine with being here at the age of 20, but now at this somewhat stale age of 22, the campus life thing is becoming a bit mundane and annoying. Getting drunk on the weekends for some sort of self-escapism from the bowels of this humdrum campus is getting a tad bit annoying.
Alas! There maybe is hope for me, yeah? Maybe if I sit here and attempt to search for some sort of solace within myself, I can find the driving factor that will give me the ambition to get the hell out of here. Yes! Now that would assuredly be great; yes, sir it would be nice.
I guess that grad school abroad will have to wait a few more semesters, yeah? It's okay; I need to prepare myself for what's beyond the Atlantic anyway.
Showing posts with label introspection. Show all posts
Showing posts with label introspection. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Saturday, December 2, 2006
Somethings Are Meant To Be Different.
Maybe next time don't ridicule a person for being different. You never know what they might be going through.
Thursday, November 30, 2006
My Introspection
We all can learn a thing or two from the human interactions we have. From the most insignificant person you pass by on the subway car to the person you love the most; all can teach us more about ourselves. Introspection will be the topic of this writing.
Bluntess
I have learned more about myself through my interactions with other people. I have learned (especially through female interaction) that I am a lot more blunt than the average person. I have been told that I have no problem with holding my tongue (I see no problem with this). This is something I believe that everyone should do. To be blunt (by society's standards) is to be an "asshole," but to me to be blunt is to be truly honest. We were taught by the world that speaking our minds at all times is an assertive thing; a taboo. To be blunt is to be that guy that is an abrasive asshole, or to be an outrageous bitch (if you are an female). From meeting many different women in my life, I have told all of them to be extremely blunt with me from the day we start talking. I would rather have something be a papercut in a matter of days than be a severed limp within a matter of months (even years). If you don't understand my analogy, all I'm saying is I would rather have someone be blunt and hurt my feelings with something brand new than beat around the bush for a prolonged period of time and hurt my feeling then.
No More Fake Smiles & Laughs!!!
I have no problem with not speaking to someone if we aren't cool. If you don't like me, please don't speak! Don't pretend that you give a shit about me when you see me passing you by with a fake "HEYYYY!" That is so juvenile! But, I have grown to realize that even people my grandparents' age do it as a way of "common courtesy." But, what I ask you (as the reader) is, "What is the damn point of pretending?!?!? Why act like you give a shit about someone when you see them, then talk behind their back when they're gone?!?!?" But this is also another element within me (like my bluntness) that shapes my introspection.
Conclusion
I have learned from other people, that I am extremely blunt and I don't pretend to like people when I see them. Most would call me a"rude, arrogant asshole for speaking his mind all the time and not speaking to those that really don't give a shit about him." I honestly, don't give a damn what people think about me! If you don't like me, don't say "Hello" like you give a damn about me. And rather than saying you will be blunt with me from day one (and knowing you can't do that), just cut me off if it's too much for you. LOL. We are all not for the land of bluntness.
Bluntess
I have learned more about myself through my interactions with other people. I have learned (especially through female interaction) that I am a lot more blunt than the average person. I have been told that I have no problem with holding my tongue (I see no problem with this). This is something I believe that everyone should do. To be blunt (by society's standards) is to be an "asshole," but to me to be blunt is to be truly honest. We were taught by the world that speaking our minds at all times is an assertive thing; a taboo. To be blunt is to be that guy that is an abrasive asshole, or to be an outrageous bitch (if you are an female). From meeting many different women in my life, I have told all of them to be extremely blunt with me from the day we start talking. I would rather have something be a papercut in a matter of days than be a severed limp within a matter of months (even years). If you don't understand my analogy, all I'm saying is I would rather have someone be blunt and hurt my feelings with something brand new than beat around the bush for a prolonged period of time and hurt my feeling then.
No More Fake Smiles & Laughs!!!
I have no problem with not speaking to someone if we aren't cool. If you don't like me, please don't speak! Don't pretend that you give a shit about me when you see me passing you by with a fake "HEYYYY!" That is so juvenile! But, I have grown to realize that even people my grandparents' age do it as a way of "common courtesy." But, what I ask you (as the reader) is, "What is the damn point of pretending?!?!? Why act like you give a shit about someone when you see them, then talk behind their back when they're gone?!?!?" But this is also another element within me (like my bluntness) that shapes my introspection.
Conclusion
I have learned from other people, that I am extremely blunt and I don't pretend to like people when I see them. Most would call me a"rude, arrogant asshole for speaking his mind all the time and not speaking to those that really don't give a shit about him." I honestly, don't give a damn what people think about me! If you don't like me, don't say "Hello" like you give a damn about me. And rather than saying you will be blunt with me from day one (and knowing you can't do that), just cut me off if it's too much for you. LOL. We are all not for the land of bluntness.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)