Going Broke For Christmas

I'm headed to Southern California to a Time Share resort with my family later on this week. The interesting thing about this is that my grandparents (on my mother's side) do not celebrate Christmas at all. I remember being a young child and asking my grandfather, "Why don't you celebrate Christmas!?" He would answer, "Why would you open gifts on someone else's birthday?" It did not make complete sense to me until the past few years.

Isn't it completely logical that Christmas is more of an economic holiday than it is a religious one? People say they celebrate this day as the birth of Jesus Christ, but they continue to buy extravagant gifts that they can not truly afford to show their "love" for the recipient of the gifts. Buying children these hundred dollar video game systems that they will only play until March just does not seem logical to me at all. It's interesting how the Nintendo Wii, PlayStation 3, and Microsoft's XBox 360 cost more than most people's monthly car payments. You save up a tremendous amount of money from months past to make sure that little Billy and Sarah have a great Christmas on material bumkum that won't hold their attention even until the forthcoming Summer.

Maybe buying your loved ones something that will actually stimulate their minds rather than annul their minds such as novels is a better purchase than a set of pearls or a toy that will be lost and forgotten. Buying that gift item that will lose its luster after many years is not always the greatest investment you would want to make. So, this Christmas, buy your loved one a book or a musical instrument rather than something that will hurt you financially. An investment for your well-being is a much greater gift than jewelry or a toy. Happy Holidays!

Myspace Thugs & Cyber Divas

So it has officially been a year since I have first started this blog page back in last November. I never would have thought that I would have gotten over 7,000 hits in the time that I've been writing in it. It's been a tremendous experience to write things that I used to consider private for people I do not know to take the time to read. I thank those that have taken the time to contact me (via instant message, e-mail or comment) to express your comments about what material has been published for you to read.

I wanted to write about something today that I have noticed on Myspace and on other online communities as well. Why is that males and females alike both feel the need to exploit themselves on their personal pages? Why do certain males feel they need to promote this machismo role of taking pictures in mirrors of their firearms, and counting money? Why do females exploit themselves with pictures of themselves spread-eagle on their beds exposing their body parts? It's very simple; these individuals do these things because they need attention.

Males feel the need to exploit themselves with pictures of them counting hundred dollar bills and toting guns in their palms to attract women. Taking pictures in front of their overly-gaudy cars to attract women has become the norm on Myspace, Facebook, and other online arenas for people's interactions with each other. If you need to show off the money you have to get a female's attention, nine times out of ten the female that is attracted to you for these reasons is definitely not going to be worth the time and effort. You only attract what you put out.

Females taking pictures in pornstar-esque poses in front of bathroom mirrors of their homes only do this to get guys attention. Taking pictures of your breasts and buttocks only will only attract the raunchy guys that you are broadcasting yourself out to.

When did it become normal to exploit yourself for personal attraction? When did it become cool to take pictures of your guns, cars, clothes, and body to attract other people? Maybe, I am different in my approach to women, but I see absolutely nothing attractive about a female that has the audacity to broadcast explicit pictures of herself via the internet to gain popularity amongst their peers.

It's very simple; if you are looking for attention through material things that you possess, then you have a tremendous problem with your securities. If someone cannot be attracted to you for whom you are, then they should not be worth your time. Some of us need to grow up; taking pictures of yourself with guns and counting money will only attract the most plastic females. Posing with your ass in the air will attract the most raunchy males. Let's think a bit harder, people.

I'm surrounded by the assimilated niggas.
The token black kid in the sea of whites that takes all the subliminal racist bullshit with hella strife,
laughs and takes in the jokes of their own skin color,
not realizin inside the heart they bother,
the father of the kid feels their son and daughter,
has lost their sense of pride because they crash and flatter,
the agony of perplexity it seems to gather,
within the kid's sternum of his body not recognizing the matter,
dying inside his own skin wishing genocide on his own has to be the answer,
dying their hair color blonde and wearin' blue contacts just makes it feel badder,
looking at your own kind from the other side of town with hateful eyes just makes it sadder,
until you're 45 years old walkin aside another black man or women and you hear the word screamed "NIGGER!,"
then you turn around and look because you think they're not talkin about you, damn, you've slipped and crashed for 45 years into gray matter,
you're whole life you hated your skin color and wished you were lighter,
Just a little more shades of blue or green in my eyes you wanted them brighter,
the assimilated nigga movement is all amongst us making class ism amongst blacks thousands of times harder,
you went to all the brown paper bag parties where they wouldn't let blacks in if there skin was darker,
the uncle tom and tragic mulatto complex is set within these niggas and this to all of you it should bother,
because they will live their whole lives trying to be white then die a fool of a pseudo movement towards self-hatred, a bullshit martyr.

Gym?! Oh, that place I used to go to everyday...

Damn, it has been a hella long time since I have written anything. I know, I know, I am neglecting my passion of writing, but I have lately not had anything interesting to write about. Well...there was the depression of last week that stressed the hell out of me, and then again there was the blessings that my aunt and uncle have placed upon me this week. Well, I guess there was a few things that I could have written about lately; I've just been a lazy little bastard. Getting back in the swing of things of writing consistently on a weekly basis in this blog is where I need to be. Writing seems to be the only thing that I can say that I am truly good at. Even as an abruptly blunt and belligerent person verbally that I am, it always seems a little easier for me to write how I feel about things. Writing with a pen to a piece of paper or typing away at a keyboard is usually which keep my head above water to the brinks of sanity. The harsh realms I have been induced with (such as stress & being unfit) have become the onerous boulders that have been holding me down as of late.

I need to get back in the gym; it has been 2 months since I have done anything strenuous. The hallowed grounds of the gym had become my answer and solace to the hardships that laid beyond the entry doors of the gym. Today, I will go bust my ass in the gym; I have realized that when I work out (no matter how stressful the situation in my life it is) the work outs make me feel so much better about everything.

MIXTAPE!!!

listen to the mixtape!!!

Journal Entry Vingt-Huit (28)

I recently haven't written much because writing to me comes in spurts; sometimes I write everyday in a week's time and others I can go weeks without even writing a word. I try to stay writing at least something (even if it's only 2 lines) a day to keep my writing style fresh and persistent. There's nothing more satisfying to me than knowing that someone is feeling what I am writing about in particular blogs, poetry, etc. Just to know that someone gave a shit enough to take the time out of their lives to read what I have to say is a true blessing to me, and I want to thank all of you that read my blogs from time to time to see me progressing as a human being.

I have came a long way from writing poems in the most bitter mind state for the world to see to writing in more profound ways. I am no longer at a crossroads in my life to whether I am trying to figure out what route to take; I am content with my life at this point in time. I am thankful to live life without any of the health issues that some people I know have come across over the years. Here I was complaining about not having the money to buy shit I really don't need when on Friday I seen an old baseball mate of mine from the little league days paralyzed in a wheelchair, and I realized that I have nothing in the world to complain about. I am able to walk and breathe freely as I please; that is more than a blessing enough for me.

Who is Fat Tony?

I have linked up with this cat named Fat Tony out of Houston, Texas that is hella young but still has the work ethic of a man well into his mid-twenties. I listen to a wide array of music (hip hop especially) and for me to say that I'm going to help manage someone they must be hella good. The potential level of this kid is hella high and I expect him to do hella well.


Check out the new song added to Fat Tony's page....
"Love Life"


Click the picture to add Fat Tony!!!



Upcoming Shows

Oct 31 2007 9:00P
21+ - Pi Lounge and Bar ::: Halloween Show w/ Domino (iLL Faded Productions) Houston, Texas

Nov 2 2007 6:30P
University of St. Thomas w/ Fat Tony, Dee Rail, The Low Ends, The Rudyments, and more. Houston, Texas

Dec 1 2007 12:00P
Free Show - Contemporary Arts Museum houston, Texas

Dec 13 2007 7:00P
Mojo Risin' Coffee House w/ World Wide Web Houston, Texas

National I.D.

National Identification Cards will be implemented to all of the citizens of the United States very soon. The rights to travel freely and live as freely as you think you are doing now will definitely be opposed. The ability to travel within this country and to other countries will be policed with governmental superiority. The absolute scrutiny of your life as we know it will become a way in order for them to revoke you of all your rights and police, abuse, or imprison you when and wherever they please. The latest news that never made national headlines anywhere on CBS, CNN, NBC, etc. of college students having the right to freedom of speech, but being tortured by malicious acts by the campus police should have been an eye-opener for the people of this country. The recent acts of Neo Con soldiers in this country policing rally supporters (which if last I remembered was also freedom of speech) should also have opened your eyes more as well. Seeing as Neo Con soldiers are not police, and therefore they are mercenaries whom have the right to act as they please to engage on innocent civilians as they please when and wherever.

Please, people...open up your eyes! The structure of the world is not getting any better; the United States is in a police state! Everyone's awareness levels should be on pins and needles; do not let all propaganda of mirrors and smoke of consumer goods that you do not need block your introspection in general! Below is a petition to stop the National I.D. from being implemented. Please look over the site, and if you will feel it makes sense to you, sign the petition! Do some research people on nanotechnology and the National I.D. Don't let the talking heads throughout the media place subjective thinking upon you. Research these topics for yourself and learn the truth about what is going on around you.

http://www.nonationalid.com/TakeAction.aspx

http://www.epic.org/privacy/id_cards/

http://www.ncsl.org/realid/

Institutions of Higher Learning Becoming Murder Scenes

It is not even safe to say that you will go to college to become a more intellectually and socially inept human being; you might have your life ended to a fatal shooting in your college dormitory. This year of 2007, there have been 3 major college campus shootings in the U.S.. The Virginia Tech University massacre captured 32 lives and 28 were wounded in April. Two people were shot at Delaware State University in Dover, Delaware earlier in September. The third shooting was at the University of Memphis in Tennessee and the victim was a young black man (whom was only 21 years old) whom played football for the university. He was walking out of his college dormitory last night (Sunday) and getting into his car to be shot and killed with a bullet lodged into his chest. He was found with his car wrecked into a tree not to far from his college dorm. Taylor Bradford was only 21 years old! I do not know the circumstances of how and why this young man was murdered, but I realized by the waking of this morning and alarming news of another fatal shooting on a college campus this year (all 3 shootings were all within the past 3 months) that a person cannot even go to college without worrying about being shot and murdered. That's 63 people that were shot this year on college campuses (that have been recorded), and 34 of the 63 people are dead. I wrote a blog about my theory surrounding MK Ultra and the Virginia Tech massacre, but I am not the one that should be speculating about the other two shootings. But, I will say this...

For a lot of people of color from impoverished neighborhoods, areas, and cities, the opportunity to go to college is a true blessing from God. For Black, Latino, and Polynesian males and females, to get the opportunity to go to college and getaway from the many troubles of the poor neighborhoods that a lot of us come from is a dream. A lot of us from these neighborhoods that grew up seeing all this crime and violence seen the gift of going to college as an escape from the reality that we have grown up with. We would never think it would be even a problem of being shot on a college campus, but now that's no longer a truth to us. Who would have ever thought that by going to college that you would have to worry about being shot and murdered? Definitely not me!

Peace and love goes out to the people and families that were effected by the shootings at Virginia Tech University, Delaware State University, and especially to Taylor Bradford at the University of Memphis. I can most relate to Taylor Bradford's case because he and I are about the same age, and I had a cousin get murdered in January of this year. God bless all of you! Please, do be safe!

Instead of Going Out

I am slowly creeping upon my 100th blog entry; it should be published by the end of October with the writing style I have. As you can see, I can easily one week write 3 to 4 entries, then go a whole week without writing another entry. Writing these blogs comes to me in spurts. Sometimes I feel like I need to write everyday one week, and some weeks I don't feel like writing at all.

There is nothing specifically that I have the vigor to write about in this entry. I guess you can label this one as another one of my "freestyles." Life in general right now has eased up a bit from the cobwebs of stress that I felt a month previously. It was an absolute hard transition to go from being a dependent living in another's house partying all the time to having to become independent and realizing that financially partying 3 times a week is not the best investment. As much as I liked going out at the frequency of 3 times a week, it was a becoming a habit. Spending excessive amounts of my money at night clubs and bars here in the San Francisco Bay Area was weighing down on me a bit. Not so much because of the stability of my business venture, but I was burning a great deal of my profit in the nightlife scene. Think about it:

Typical Night Expenses
a) Gas - $45
b) Bar/Club Cover Charge - $15
c) Drinking Expense - $15
+d) Late-Night Snack - $6

Average Total - $81

After doing this calculation of expenses from how I usually spend my money whenever I go out, it really doesn't seem likely that I will be going out but once a month anymore. The most ridiculous expense of them all is the cover charge for a bar or club. There are bars and clubs as cheap as $5 to even very expensive ones that can cost you $25 just to get in. On average, a mixed alcoholic beverage at most bars/clubs will range from $7-12. Most people when can drink from a range of 2-4 drinks in one night. Whether you're taking it easy at the bar that night or if you're going to party your ass off, you will check in your pockets the next day and realize a substantial amount of your money is no longer there. I mean, I love going out for the atmosphere and to meet new women, but damn, if it costs me on average $81 to when I go out then why the hell am I going out in the first place?!

...Land of the free, Huh? Seemed like forever ago...

Interesting how the people in the crowd during this debate were laughing at the University of Florida student that was being tasered for asking simple questions to John Kerry. Obviously, he was asking things that were a bit too "controversial" therefore the homonculus clones (oh, I'm sorry, the police) were following orders like the guard dogs they are. Anything in the country at this state in time that may bring up the consciousness of its citizens to open their introspection to what's really going on around them is seen as an immediate threat. Therefore, it is policed and cited as a "terrorist act" for stating facts of this nation's corrupt politics. The kid was just stating how Kerry had won the election against Bush, and how it was indescribable how Kerry did not even contest his loss to Bush at all in anyway, shape, or form. The kid also asked Kerry if he opposed Bush's plan to invade Iran, and why didn't he vote to get Bush impeached. The last question and most ironic one that got him arrested was the undergraduate asking Kerry if he was a part of Skull & Bones fraternity with Bush. This tipped the police into a maniacal frenzy to get the kid away from the microphone and arrest him for absolutely nothing. He was immediately tasered when they could have easily just arrested and escorted him outside of the building. Land of the free, home of the brave, huh?

UCLA Student Tasered in Library

But I thought taser guns were not harmful to the human body, Liars!:

1. Loss of function of respiratory muscles, producing death from asphyxia.

This method of death requires paralysis of the lungs for a period of at least several minutes. The lack of oxygen could cause brain damage and death. The AIR TASER® runs off a nine-volt battery that would drain in less than two minutes if it could run nonstop without breaks in the TASER®-Wave cycle. Even if the device was able to run nonstop and the current ran continuously across the diaphragm muscles in the mid thorax, the duration of the paralysis would be too short to induce death by asphyxia. More importantly, the design of the AIR TASER® ensures that a long and continuous flow discharge will not occur. Death due to paralysis of respiratory muscles has never been reported with the use of a TASER®. (See Section 1. Automatic Impulse Regulation for details.)

2. Hemorrhage resulting from increased blood pressure.

Dr. Robert Stratbucker, MD, Ph.D., MS, PE is the most respected doctor in non-lethal electronic weapons testing and safety evaluations. Dr. Stratbucker has written over 23 publications and presented his work in numerous technical conferences and scientific exhibits. Some of his works include the following relevant topics: potential cardiac hazards in the use of hand-held electronic law enforcement devices, relative immunity of the skin and cardiovascular systems to the direct effects of high voltage, cardiac arrhythmia and defibrillation, current density distributions during transcutaneous current pacing, and electrical characteristics of the skin. Dr. Stratbucker’s study in Section V of this report, demonstrated that even direct application of the TASER® output to the heart "showed only a mild and transient effect on blood pressure." No death by this means has ever occurred in an individual shot with a TASER®.

3. Heart Failure.

Dr. Stratbucker performed tests by applying the TASER®-Wave pulsed wave form directly to the cardiac tissue via an intracardiac electrode and found "no effect on cardiac rhythm or pumping." He also tested the pulsed waveform for interference with cardiac pacemakers. Dr. Stratbucker found "only when the shocks were delivered directly to the pacer itself did erratic pacing occur. Following the termination of the shocks, the rhythm returned promptly to pre-shock regularity." The designs of modern pacemakers withstand the pulses of electrical defibrillators that are several hundred times stronger than TASER® pulses. Tests at the Cordis Medical Lab in Florida have confirmed this.

There have been several reported heart failures in individuals shot by the TASER®. However, in all cases but one there were sufficient amounts of PCP or other drugs in the blood to have caused the death. The one case the TASER® was listed as a contributing factor involved a person with a serious heart condition who was on PCP. However, the doctor performing the autopsy listed the TASER® as possible contributing factor. In none of these cases did the heart failure occur until at least 15 minutes after being shot with a TASER®. Electrically stimulated heart failure would be immediate and would occur during the shock. The patient would die within two to three minutes. There is no plausible mechanism for the TASER® to cause a delayed heart failure. Instead, it appears to have been listed as a potential cause in the above case in the name of conservatism. (By law, coroners must list any possible cause.)

4. Respiratory failure due to nervous inhibitions or damage to the nervous system.

The TASER® does not produce enough power to damage nerve tissue. It simply produces electrical signals confusing the nervous system by overloading the nerve fibers with meaningless signals. No deaths of this nature have been reported.

5. Skin and flesh burns.

A tremendous amount of heat generated by high power currents would have to occur for this type of burn. The nine-volt battery of a TASER® does not produce enough power to cause any more than perhaps slight surface burns. Testing in hospital settings has shown that the TASER® does not to cause burns.

Ghostland Observatory

I had never even heard of the Ghostland Observatory until the Treasure Island Music Festival in San Francisco on last Saturday, but from their infectious synth production and lively vocals I instantly became intrigued on whom this duo from Austin, Texas was. Aaron Behrons (the vocalist) and Thomas Turner (the producer) are the masterminds behind their debut LP, "Paparazzi Lightning." It's very rare that I listen to an electronic-infused LP and feel that it is only fitting that I get my ass up and dance! I'm not even halfway through the LP yet, and it is slowly becoming an album that I know for sure will be receiving heavy rotation from me. Something that you rarely find amongst singers is that they sound totally different live than they do on their albums, but with Behrons, this was not an issue. He sounded just as great in San Francisco as he did on the album. I didn't get a chance to see them because I was backstage for the most part of their performance, but I know that now next time I see the Ghostland posters being posted for their next performance here in the Bay Area that I will be front row taking in all the great music that this duo both produce together. From the city that highlights the South By Southwest Festival every year, Austin, Texas did a great job in producing this group, the Ghostland Observatory.

Ghostland Observatory's performance at SXSW

Treasure Island Music Fest

It's very simple, people. I work for a pretty popular underground hip hop group, and I got to hang out backstage at the Treasure Island Music Festival in San Francisco, California yesterday. All day I was sitting backstage at this festival running into many independent artists, bands, and groups. Just to name a few: Thievery Corporation, Ghostland Observatory, Honeycut, DJ Shadow & Cut Chemist, Kid Beyond, Zion I, M.I.A., etc. From looking at the line-up yesterday, I knew maybe only 3 artists on the bill out of like 15. But, I think that it was a great thing because I got to discover many new artists and bands that put on one hella great show. In the middle of Zion I's set, the power went out on the stage for like 3 minutes, but they pulled it together to keep the crowd excited. I had a great time out there in windy ass San Francisco! Amazing how being on the water on Treasure Island, there's a huge degree of wind coming off the water. It was cold as hell out there earlier in the day, warmed up for maybe 2 hours around 2pm, then went back to being chilly again around 5pm. But other than that, sitting in the VIP stands and looking at the stage and crowd going nuts over the artists and bands was sick. Then, seeing the background of beach, ocean, and the cityscape of Frisco was truly a reminder of how beautiful and blessed we all are to live in the Bay Area. Well, not all of us. LOL.

...more more...yeah...musique.

I've been listening to some really great albums lately including Killah Priest, the Smiths, Cyne, etc. I've been sitting at this computer recently almost since Saturday listening to hella albums that I've been recommended to listen to by friends and albums that I haven't listened to at all. Hell, I have albums on my computer that have never been played to since the day I downloaded them. Yeah, that's right...I said downloaded! I'm not afraid of the Music Federallie's. I have realized that the albums that I have slept on the most and never played were the best albums in my whole musical collection. I'm just thankful that God gave me this wide-open musical taste to like many different types of music beyond hip hop and rock. I love the fact that I can play Frank Sinatra or Billie Holliday, Atreyu, Aesop Rock, and Dieselboy all in the same play list and appreciate all of them. I definitely need to do a profession that includes writing and music. I think that all of you should check out all of these artists.


Killah Priest (of Wu Tang Clan)


Cyne


LMNO (of the Visionaries)


Justice

Music

It's easy to misjudge someone based on the things or events in their life that they have been through. It's funny how something like musical taste can define the events and things a human being has been through. By this correlation, people generally tend to choose music that defines their feelings towards the past and current events that have/are going on in their lives. For example, I love hardcore rock for the basis of its abrasive yet true lyrical content. Most of the hardcore rock (or rock in general) is laden with lyrics of introspection, renunciation and even abdication. The general age of the bands that I listen to are within my age range of 18-30 years old therefore it is a bit analeptic to know that there are people that feel the same way I do. It is reassuring that there are people in this world that can have the strength to display all of their insecurities for the world to see through the medium of music and not feel a sense of self-mutilation while doing so. I tend to pick music that I can most relate to; as do you. Yes, the brunt of my musical taste is music that is absorbed with lyrics of disservice and slovenliness and with heavily maniacal guitar and percussion play, but it helps define bits of me.


Thursday


Circle Takes The Square


As Cities Burn

Goodbye, Sprint.

I haven't been writing blogs for a while now for one huge reason (well, two). School has started back up again, and I have been so consumed with being broke now that I haven't really been on the internet as much as I used to. But, that is all soon to change in a while (I hope). Nothing tremendous has been going on in my life as of late other than I am in huge debt right now. I owe Sprint a ridiculous amount of cash for their 'services.' It's beginning to get ridiculous and extremely taxing that I have a Sprint balance that is damn near the same amount as my rent for my townhouse. I have been with them for over 5 years now, and they continue to pimp me out of every red cent that comes into my hands. It's sad when for years I have paid almost 100 dollars every month for 5 years to keep this crappy phone service on.

I ask myself this question everyday; "Why I pay so damn much for a cell phone?!" Well, I am in the Bay Area now for good, so I don't need a nationwide service such as Sprint anymore. I will just have to get a Metro PCS phone for the time being. $50 a month for unlimited minutes and text messages on my phone doesn't sound bad at all. Yeah...Metro PCS has extremely crappy networking such as dropped calls. Hell, Metro PCS drops more calls than Tiki Barber dropped footballs in the 2000 NFL season. But, whatever. I am not picky in these days and times. I am utterly broke and a true starving student now. To just have a cell phone and rent paid is all that truly matters at this time. (God, I hope I get this marketing internship with Photobucket.)

Sunspot Jonz

The true hip hop! Definitely true hip hop indeed from Oakland-raised and bred co-creator of the Living Legends crew, Sunspot Jonz on his most recently released underground hip hop LP, "Why We Fight." There are six members of the Living Legends whom are both from California's hubs, Los Angeles and the San Francisco Bay Area. All of the Legends have gone on to do many solo projects and most of the solo projects were just alright, but Sunspot Jonz has definitely proven on this LP that he can be successful with or without the Legends. "Why We Fight" is laced with 19 heavy bass-laden and eclectic tracks and a bonus track at the end of the installment that all carry their own many different themes to leave your ass nodding your head for 80 minutes . I was hella impressed with what I have heard on this LP!. From the jazz-influenced instrumental, "Hip Hop" to tracks featuring the Grouch, Equipto, Luckyiam.PSC, and Eligh, this album is definitely one for any hip hop collector. I would recommend this to any hip hop fan, well any music fan in general. Sunspot Jonz will not let you down on this LP; he will leave your senses and ears tingling and wanting more.

Overall Grade: 84 percent (B)

This shouldn't be to difficult to read.
shehatesme
thetheoryishere
thedestructivepath
ofchangesdoesntreveal
thepainstillifeel
yetthingscouldntbe
thewayiwantedittogo
believeit
conceiveit
iwasnttherightoneforher
iguessnot
icantletgo
no...
i can't
let

go.

Wearing Hella Hats.

So...I didn't get the online moderator job for Meez.com. It pissed me off yesterday morning, but soon after receiving the bad news, I got over it. I am moving into my place possibly tomorrow or Saturday. The online moderator job for Meez.com only included moderating the forums. Basically, I would make sure that the teenage kids wouldn't put any porn on the forums, or start stupid threads on the forum. And the best part is that I would be able to do this job from the comfort of my home! Getting paid for this...a dream! But, I didn't get it. I have an interview today with another "online community," so let's hope that it pays as well and can be done from home as well.

I start school on Monday; I am rather ready for it to start so I can graduate! To graduate and move onto bigger and better things. I have an article that I have published in my local newspaper, "East Palo Alto Daily News" on gentrification. In fact, it was a blog that I wrote a while back that I submitted to be published. I will continue to try to freelance write for as many publications as possible in order to add more and more things to my resume. I think that by this time next year (Lord say the same) I will have a wide range of things to put on my resume.

At this point in my life:
1) I am interning for one of my favorite hip hop groups, Zion I.
2) I write for my local newspaper, "East Palo Alto Daily News."
3) I write club and venue reviews for NiteVibe.com.

Possibilities in the Near Future (like next week):
1) Online Community Moderator (Limbo.com)
2) Writing Internship (Vintage Auto Racing Magazine)

I am blessed.

Hardcore rock

It's not very hard to sit here and write with Josh Scogin of The Chariot screaming in my ears with my headphones in. As hard as it is for most people to comprehend what hardcore rock bands lyrics are, for me, it isn't that hard to understand exactly what they are saying through their low death groans and high screeching yells. In the beginning when I first start listening to metal, I used to find myself looking up the lyrics via Internet to understand exactly what the hell the singer from these various bands were trying to convey through the screams. After reading the lyrics of a few songs, you start to realize that metal is more than "a handful of white boys screaming their lungs out" (like an average Black man would say). You start to realize that these lyrics are deeper than most of the radio-friendly rock bands' songs that you are saturated with on a daily basis.

The Chariot


The Number 12 Looks Like You


Norma Jean



As Cities Burn


Every Time I Die




Sevendust

Broken Glass All In My Mouth

Sometimes I look in the mirror and I don’t know who that is staring at me. Who’s that guy weathered by stress and beats himself down to a pulp. Does he fail to realize that he is divine? I know that I am divine but sometimes I look at myself and it hurts my eyes. The reflection I see…the guy that is inside of me..asking what’s it like to be free…ooh free is just a state of mind…a simple feeling…strikingly blindly to the depths of the ceilings…of caverns of my thoughts…I was bought….hell, well I can’t be bought when all I ever had is to soon to be lost…I scraped, scratched, and fought for the world to be easy…found out that I was much more than the dirt so she could see me….maybe she would give it a chance to derail my train of thought….so we could get beyond all the soon on here and after thoughts…but the timing of these events just didn’t seem to come here on after…I stated and forgave her for me crying and her laughter…the soon of a broken thought made the jokes a bit badder…like climbing to the top then realizing it’s a broken ladder…

Refurbished Dell

Fingers working almost overtime at a double pace while the notes of a piano play through the raggedy speakers of this refurbished Dell laptop. A song by Atmosphere playing in the background; he types away at the keyboard hoping for something inspirational to jump out at him like a panther pouncing on its prey in a jungle. But, there still is nothing inspirational coming into the background or even his foreground as he types. The clock on the desk blinking "2:23 A.M." from the power outage two hours and twenty-three minutes ago. His ironed-on tightness of a face begins to give in to two large dimples. His pupils are now wider as the song comes on. The song he had first heard back in January that has made him a fan of this particular band, Band of Horses. As the tempo of the song begins to go back down, his heart rate becomes parallel with the bass line slowing down as well. The chorus comes back in raising the tempo (and his heart rate) once more. He finds himself staring into space looking for some inspiration. Damn it, some sort of inspiration somewhere around this room. He looks at the bright colored shoes below him thinking they might have some sort of worth in this writing. He shrugs and continues to type away, but finds nothing to write about. Another blog finished.

Take A Cold Stare At The State That We Live In...Please!

A presidential Executive Order entitled "Blocking Property of Certain Persons Who Threaten Stabilization Efforts in Iraq" was signed with a huge smile by my favorite person in the world, President George W. Bush on July 17th. What this Executive Order implicates is that any person or persons that is of an organization or entity that is of an anti-war in Iraq movement of nature can have their assets confiscated and frozen through the order of our great president, George W. Bush. Basically what this means is that if you are found at an anti-war rally opposing "Big Brother" Bush's grander scheme of things for world dominance through the entities of masonry, then you will be under direct order to have all of your finances, money and assets (property, etc) stolen from you.

This newly signed Executive Order is just another piece to the puzzle of the great future for all of us here in the U.S. The grim reality of martial law is upon all of us. The Executive Order violates the First, Fourth, and Fifth Amendments, but we all already know that when the Patriot Act was signed stating that all of your rights here within this country would easily be violated and stripped away from you.

In May 2007, Bush issued a National Security Directive (National Security and Homeland Security Presidential Directive NSPD 51/HSPD 20) which could suspend the constitutional government and give the President dictatorial power absolutely over the nation if there were to be another 9-11 scenario implicated within the country. What this means is when another national tragedy such as 9/11 occurs, martial law will be implicated throughout the whole country.

Turn on the TV sets and you will see the major headlines are all about the 'next Al Qaeda attack on the nation's soils. This should be foreshadowing of what is next to come in this nation within the next few months, maybe years. I honestly and truly believe that another 9/11-like attack will happen to suspend the presidential race of the future president and will give President Bush a longer stay in the White House so that his plans of martial law can and will be enforced by the end of this year. Don't be surprised if martial law is enforced a lot sooner than you think.

Read for about the latest Executive Order here:
http://www.globalresearch.ca/index.php?context=va&aid=6377

Dreams Canceled

The black path. The curtains dulling from sunlight fading them to a mundane gray. The shoes stained with grime and mud and even dust from the constant pounding of a 220 pound man's size 13 feet smashing them against the pavement. The toe of the shoes opening to say "Hello" from the weakened soles. Shoestrings were once a royal blue hue that paralleled that same color of a fresh Dodger cap; now torn and ripped by the cement's wolfish bites. The cup with old Kool-Aid residue from nights past still sits there; no longer clean. 22 years older; nearly 23. Alcohol and inertia mixed in one combo beating his body with mountain-heavy weights of laziness. A blood test in 30 minutes; no, it's gotta be canceled. Yes...it must be canceled.

Being from a neighborhood as mine which is now predominantly Latino with the roots of a gentrified working class small town into its future plans of becoming a venture capitalist's dream. A city which is only 2/3 of a mile in square footage (if I'm not mistaken) being colonized from a hotbed of history for many blacks, Latinos, and Polynesians alike into a manufactured city. Destroying the majority of the small businesses in our community to build one hell of a four-star hotel that I am sure has driven up the property taxes in my area tremendously. Every time I have returned home from college in Maryland to comeback and find out another one of the few small business owners in my town have been bought out to be replaced with a conglomerate owned chain store. There was once a auto parts store called Tadlock's in my town. I come back home last summer from college to find that it has now been turned into an Autozone. I walked into the store to see if anything has been changed; nothing different about the store other than better lightning and some Autozone promotional items everywhere.

And it just gets worse. I now see that the city has plans to build a marina where there are also many other small businesses that will be no longer every soon. This marina will have any restuarants, shops, and such that I'm sure will include Starbuck's, Panera Bread, and other various chain restaurants. Wow, I can only imagine what this will do for the already ridiculously inflated prices of real estate in East Palo Alto, California. All of the places that were once parts of the culture in East Palo Alto and even my side of the neighborhood, Belle Haven of Menlo Park, have been destroyed to build Starbuck's, Ikea, Home Depot, Four Seasons, etc. If at all the peninsula of the San Francisco Bay Area (San Mateo County) wasn't corporate enough, the few neighborhoods such as mine that had immense roots of culture and tradition have been turned into a cash cow for venture capitalists. Building plush and lavish manufactured homes and condos to drive up the cost of blue collar citizens' property taxes is putting a strangle hold around our citizens' necks. Many people can not afford to live in East Palo Alto any longer, and have moved to areas of the Central Valley such as Stockton and Modesto where the cost of living is much cheaper. In twenty years, when I bring my kids back to my neighborhood to show them the place that molded me into the upstanding young Black man that I am; they won't believe that this small 2/3 of a square mile was a working class city. Many of the places I used to play and eat at in this town will no longer be here, and they will laugh at me thinking that I have lied about the neighborhood I so loved to say I grew up in. As much as East Palo Alto has been given a bad dose of news headlines slated with murder and drug problems, let's not forget about programs such as College Track, EPA Can Do, and OICW that are shining examples of positivity in East Palo Alto. The gentrification must stop!

Rather Phrenic or Blatantly Dotterel

Waking up to the broad-on light of the Sun outside my home blaring through my curtains to awake me like my mother did in adolescent years past. Waking up to the dead-on blast of sound from my cell phone and hearing a client ask for a particular product I have at 8:45 AM. I am not used to awakening so early, but I thank God for being able to arise in general. The room around me seems to have that candid melancholia; the room with no pictures or posters posted to the walls gives it a blatant stare of boredom. Extending my arm to reach for the cell phone and feeling that sluggishness of beer and alcohol binging last night throughout my whole body puts me in the mind state of not wanting to get up, but to lie in bed all day. To lie in this ocean of blankets, sheets and pillows from Sun up to Sundown nirvanic. Reality sets in.

I destroyed the all Seeing Eye

In its devilish disguise,

You walk around and praise it subliminally to its meteoric rise,

But in my eyes,

You niggas still don’t realize,

What pain is subject and it shall pass,

The falling of a dawning of America’s past,

The ceiling that was glass

Inferiorities of Plato and Socrates,

They were men fuckin each other,

Not just so called scholars,

Stealing the African's mathematics and placing Greek above it,

If you found out Socrates was black, I don't think you would love it,

That would be the jagged glass and scrap metal I don’t think you could stomach,

Finding out that Julius Caesar was more than a tyrant,

A man that loved his wife and also fucked men,

The same ways that all high degree masons could all be homosexual

The men cloaked in dark vales fuckin each other in festivals,

The tyrannical sabbatical irrational classic,

The times I ran through my life wanting to be American,

I must have been a target

A fuckin sheep to believe that America is really my nation,

The same place that killed off the Native Americans,

And still supports segregation,

That’s why your black or Latino son or daughter gets dirty looks at their majority of a school that’s all Caucasian,

Or when you go to that five star restaurant and they claim they lost your reservation,

It’s because you’re colored which means you have dominant genes, and your genes aren’t recessive

The pain a white man feels when he finds out that nigga got his daughter pregnant,

Or when his teenage son plays nothing but hip hop,

They realize in their minds that this black movement must stop,

So they call their local news station to put your ass on display,

Saying you steal from their home and rape their wife and daughter almost everyday,

It’s the white man’s greed,

That has killed our knowledge of our dominant seed

By 2050, the whole world will be brown, the white man’s population will not lead.

To fall away from this past is far beyond the reaches of reality
Looking beyond the world sporadically
I saw the subjects of kings and tyrants die in tragedy
More like blasphemy
Because the tyrants considered themselves gods
More like deities
The kind that use your minds for experimentation
The troubles and mis fortunates of a nation
Seeing the white ooze fall back from my eyes
Not my penis, not masturbation
I ask her for one chance to see if we'll have some relation
But all I got in the conversation
Was the jargon of miscues from a woman misbehaving
Perplexing it is to see you wanting me beyond my physical attraction
You bask in your arrogance and never seen the real reaction
The reaction I felt to the cold shoulder you left for me to cry on
The jagged darts and katanas you left for me to walk on
The bombs and missiles you left for me to say goodbye on
Or the noose and chopping block you left for me to die on.

...I'm 22, I'll finish college in Yemen if I want to.

There's nothing worse than being doubted by family that you won't be able to finish something like college by transferring closer to home to finish. I have been in college since the Fall of 2003 and I have already had to take a semester off which was the hardest thing for me to ever do academically. For them to sit there and criticize me for wanting to finish my last year to two years of college here at home at Menlo College and tell me stupid shit like to finish somewhere like L.A. is ridiculous! I am 22 years old and if I want to finish my last few semesters of college in Alaska I will do so! My mother is the only one paying my tuition and it's just ironic how my dad's side of the family (who is paying nothing for me academically) feels like they can tell me where and when I can finish school. It would be one thing if my father and grandmother were actually paying for some sort of fee or even my books, but for them to sit there and critique me and try to wish for my downfall by coming home to finish college is absurd. But, like any other family member, they will be at my graduation proclaiming that they knew I could finish regardless of the college's address.

Like I told my grandmother last night, I will finish college here and I could careless if they want me to finish at a piece of shit college in Maryland to which they know nothing about. I am 22 years old; I am not 13! Maybe one day they will realize that before it's too late.

This is very different for me; I am usually never met at 7:26 A.M. I cannot remember the last time I woke up this early for anything. But, I am truly blessed to be up this morning on another great day. Driving back from Oakland this morning down 580 looking or even gazing at the clouds above us was a sight that showed me how beautiful the world is and how thankful we all should be to be alive. We rape and ravish the Earth stripping it of its natural resources and destroying its atmosphere to not realizing that one day that the Earth will not be habitable. It's to the point now where I was reading that living on a new planet might be the alternative because man has fucked up this planet so much that it won't be habitable pretty soon. The accounts that I read of things that may seem unbelievable or even not viable such as this subject of a huge human movement to space should be taken more literally. The unimaginable or even impossible is very much possible.

Pilot Speed

"Barely Listening" by Pilot Speed

I saw this music video on a local college TV station and I was a little blown away how the singer from this band, Pilot Speed sounds exactly like the front man from the Muse. This band from Ontario is definitely something to look out for.

Sinus InFect-Shun!

Having a sore throat from last Sunday to a fever that night to going to the doctor's office on Wednesday night and thinking I had strep throat to now...sitting here typing away at this keyboard with week-old phlegm still enlarging my tonsils and wrapping around them causing razor blade swallows. I hate being sick. Luckily, it is only a sinus infection, but even this is extremely discomforting to have phlegm stuck at the roof of my mouth. Not being able to go out and do what it is that I like to do on the random nights throughout the week and week's end.

I guess I can take it as a sign that I need to slow down; I need to pull myself away from the random "Hey, it's Wednesday night, let's go drink!" nights that I have become so accustom to. There's nothing wrong with going out, but when you are going out as much as I am within an average week, it is understandable how my body has picked up this sinus infection so easily. I go out on average about 4-5 times on any given week during the summer seeing as I work and intern, and there's no early morning wake-ups to get to the plantation like most people do. Therefore, I can go out practically any night that I want to.

But, it's time that I grow up, and slow down. Maybe fetch a DVD or two from Amoeba Records, pop some popcorn, and grab that gorgeous young woman (whomever she may be) a little closer to enjoy the film with. Yes...that does sound like a plan rather than being out amongst the drunks and whores in alcohol, urine, and vomit-laden bars, pubs, and clubs on any given night. Yes...it sounds like a great plan!

Another BS 'smash hit!'

Every year there's more and more commercial hip hop artists that come out with more and more plastic songs. These are the artists you can find on your local FM radio station and on MTV and BET in heavy rotation. Artists like the Shop Boyz and their 'smash hit' (I beg to differ) "Party Like a Rock star." If we as blacks in the U.S. didn't need more shit to be embarrassed about from ignorant Zip Coons like these tap dancing and minstrel flamboyant black males on TV. The more and more ignorant and degrading a song you come out with, the more promo you will get. But behind all the smoke and mirrors, the Shop Boyz like (D4L, Franchise Boyz, MIMS, etc.)are doing all this tap dancing, shucking and jiving on TV screens throughout the world, but are not making truly enough money for the degradation they put themselves for. I cannot blame the record label heads at Columbia and Universal for slaving these morons on TV and FM radio until their overly gaudy lyrics and Nintendo-like production are forgotten by the teeny-bopper generation who have forgotten what to "Walk It Out," "2 Step," "or "Chicken Noodle Soup" is.

MUSIC VIDEO CODES By Offuhuge.com

Sex

Necro has got to be the most savage and blatantly sexual hip hop artist I have ever heard in my life; strangely since the songs aren't laced with the cliché "money, cash, hoes" format like the more mainstream hip hop artists use, it's more of a refreshing thing to hear this guy make music about sex. It's taboo to speak of anything sexual in Western culture; talks about sex in Germany, Italy, and France is widely out in the open. There's even vending machines with pornographic magazines in Germany! There's no way in hell that you would ever see that here in the "United Snakes."

I remember being in my 12th grade psychology class and my teacher, Mr. MacKenzie explaining how societies (such as Germany, Italy, and France) that don't see sex as a taboo don't live with the same neuroses as the people in America do. He made a important correlation between being neurotic affected by taboos such as sex to destructive human behavior such as murder, rape, etc. He said this is why America leads the whole world in murders, rapes, and other violent crimes. It makes sense to me, does it make sense to you? The more taboos a people have, the more neurotic they will become which will cause extreme acts of self-destruction by drug and alcohol abuse, rape, and even murder.

So speak freely about whatever you please, and don't let so-called rules of your society hold you back from being open with yourself and the people around you. Live as you please; it's your life, not the powers that be.

Play list on Random and An Imagination

I am sitting here on this couch writing and even typing away at these keys hoping and wishing for something inspiring to hop into my mind to be spilled onto this blog, but nothing seems to be coming to mind. As "Knife Prty" by the Deftones plays, I am still finding myself flow into this writing navigated by the tempo of the percussion and guitars whaling throughout the remainder of the song.

I could float here forever...We're all anemic.
-Deftones

Chino Moreno has become one of my favorite rock vocalists for the simple fact is this guy can actually sing his ass off unlike most American front men of rock bands. What I have been noticing in the rock scene (music scene in general) is that the demand for a person with a great and original voice is not an antecedence like it was in previous decades.

Dieselboy is a drum and bass DJ based out of Atlanta, Georgia; his music that he has produced has engrossed me deeper into the drum and bass genre. Drum and bass being one of the many immense sub-genres of the electronic music category within itself has grown on me more infectiously than I ever could imagine that any kind of music with electro elements could.

This blog was basically just something that I wrote with no since of direction but that of the music in my play list playing at this current time.

Take care.

Something That I Felt That Needed to Be Read

test the waters
a welfare supporter
the last days of our plagues
wrapped up in a political rage
communism is the future
check out for the Amero
North American Union is here
Mexico, Canada, and the U.S. as one
Within the next two years
the masons working around the clock
to keep from the Great Awakening
in 2012
companies owning cancer and disease genes
to exterminate the sheep
were the testing lab rats they test everything out on
to be black and white and latino and even asian
but were all the same human being
the truth is that theres a bigger smoke screen
beyond american idol's latest winner
and the break out of new diseases are coming true
look past the smoke and mirrors that they feed to us
i can only hope that one day you will realize that it's bigger than e what you think
the talking heads of the world are all puppets
in a 3 year old's mind state
being controlled and taking orders from people we don't even know exist
disney being the largest conglomerate smoke screened with purity
being all the way with paganism and laced with subliminal sexuality
propagated to children to grow up to be sex fiends and murderers and thieves
you can write it off if you want to
but i hope you look beyond the smoke screens and mirrors.

Finally, a radio station I can listen to!!

It's kind of a hassle to find a radio station that plays independent music. Usually you have to turn your FM dial to the 88-92 range to find a college radio station that plays some kind of independent and obscure music, and there is usually never a radio station that is decided to the greatest genre of hip hop: the underground hip hop scene.

I was scanning through my daily internet website that I love to go to find my latest in underground hip hop news and album releases, Underground Hip Hop.com, and found this radio station run by a UC Davis graduate that is devoted to nothing but the finest in underground hip hop. The play list has some of the most obscure and local scene artists to even some of the most popular hip hop groups and solo artists amongst the underground hip hop circuit.

I recommend that you go to http://www.gtronicradio.com/

It's alright

I write this to the make it extremely evident that I am falling through these verbal mouse traps of games with this female in particular. This is for the two women in the world still living and breathing that have been nothing but leeches in sucking the very blood from my body and feelings. The two women whom seem to have nothing to do better but judge and exploit my insecurities upon their belligerence. The two women that have nothing better to do than make themselves extremely vulnerable to my belligerence by showing me how cold they are to being cared for by a man. The two women that have refreshed my memory of how some women that I have encountered when they have the opportunity to love and care for a man and realizing that man begins to care for them as well will begin to desensitize themselves to that man. The two women that begin to realize that they care for that man cut themselves short of the feelings and possible future pains and aches by becoming cold and detached. Detaching themselves from that man so they don't have to feel.

...this is what it sounds like when doves cry die

10:33 PM
i sit here
at this laptop
and i ask myself what does it feel like to die
what does it feel like to watch someone cry
the night their mom, dad, brother, and sister died
i fell yet and split my lip the gist to get by
realized in the moonlight that you wished i would die
forgive me if you must for i gust out one last sigh
you watched my autodafe at the stake burned to a crisp, walk on by
another bitch in the proverbs of my notebook as i let my pen cry
and this is what it sounds like when doves die.

People In Planes

I am writing again; I am listening to "Falling By The Wayside" by a hell of a great band from the UK, People in Planes. I bought their LP "As Far As The Eye Can See" back in January at the best indie record store in the world, Amoeba Records in San Francisco and haven't been able to stop playing it since. Whether you like rock or not, this LP is one of those albums that even the most close-minded music fan might be able to enjoy. It's just pure rock music. The sense of simple baselines and a front man that can actually sing his ass off is something that is hard to find in a rock band nowadays. I would hella recommend you to buy this LP when you get a chance.

Overall Album Grade-85 percent...hella good!

People In Planes - Falling By The Wayside
Download Music Video Code at Roxwel

A Simple Writing

I am here sitting with this laptop on my lap tonight on this Friday watching my pirated copy of "300" playing on the television in the background completely bored. I have realized, well...I have had more of a "coming of age" lesson today. I have attained this meaning of human survival for one's feelings from an acquaintance of mine. It's not everyday that you get the opportunity to learn these little life lessons from the closest individuals to you (or so you may think). Neithertheless, I still sit here at this laptop typing away at the feelings of resentment and chagrin from a somewhat of a "friend." The quotes around the word "friend" for this person isn't and should not and shall not be considered a friend anymore. This person...well...I could easily say their name, but I am choosing not to be so malicious in my ways has no idea how close they were to coming a little closer to me.

But, as most of the other skeltons in the closet, she will probably fail and fall by the wayside as her predecessors was done before her. Why am I not even surprised? But, what can you do when a person doesn't see the things in you that you have seen within them? Do you just get up and walk out of the door of their life, or do you try to be a better friend than they were to you? I shall not consider you a "friend" anymore; you were never a friend of mine in the first place.

On a lighter note, I hope that everyone enjoys this weekend as I will. Tonight is chapter anew; goodbye for now.

Wonder What's Next

A major set of changes are headed my way in next few days when I get back home to California. Things aren't looking up for me at this point in time. I have my own routine now in trying to not care or even feel about what's around the corner. but, yet I can't help but to peek around the corner and wonder what's next. I have to find a way to pay rent once a month by July, and I also have to figure what I am going to do with my life once I get home for good. I don't feel very happy about being in Maryland at this college, and I had came to this conclusion months ago that I would just go back home to California to finish college, get my own place, and live independently. But, in essence, that is one hell of a scare for me! I don't know what the hell I am doing or where the hell I am going in life. My grades aren't the greatest from this semester, and I honestly don't think there's a bat's chance in hell that I will be accepted into this small liberal arts college in the Bay Area, Menlo College. Friends of mine that go to college at home, either live at home with their parents still comfortably, or have their own places. Usually, their parents are paying their rent monthly so that they can completely focus on obtaining their collegiate degrees. But, as for me, when I go home, I don't have a place I can call home. I don't have a room of my own to go to in my own home. I am jumping around constantly from one house to the other of family members. I can't stay at my mother's because there's just too much stress over there, and at my father's place, there's no space for me. I hope that going home isn't setting myself up for failure, but it feels that way.

"That will be 30 dollars please for your NIN album."

A friend of mine sent me this blog that was written by Nine Inch Nails front man, Trent Reznor.

http://nin.com/tr/

Who in their right mind state would pay close to 30 dollars for an album? I don't give a damn if the album is supposed to be the greatest thing ever written or recorded; there is no way in hell I would spend close to 30 bucks on an album. Hell...I don't even spend over 10 bucks on albums if you catch my drift. Thank you, Amoeba Records (California-based independent record store) and my favorite music site for making good music hella cheap (or even free). I bought ten albums at Amoeba records in San Francisco in January for less than 30 dollars! Believe it or not. I got Atreyu's first album for 1 DOLLAR!!!

So why would I spend close to twenty-five dollars for an Avril Lavigne CD? Exactly! I wouldn't!

The 'c' in mainstream rap is silent!

This is an article that I found while searching Google with the tag, "anti mainstream rap."

http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/collective/A1064170

It's a trip how the mainstream rap that is absorbed and suppressed through the eardrums of most youth and people in general is extremely redundant in all ways. It's as simple as this: Would you rather have 200 albums of the same 5 rappers you see on MTV/BET and hear on your FM radio dial rapping about completely redundant and mundane topics? Or would you rather have thousands of CD's from a various amount of artists in the underground hip hop game that rap about more than jewelry, cars, drugs, and sex?

The choice is very simple! One million points for underground hip hop, ZERO for mainstream rap! (The 'c' in 'rap' is silent).

DAMN! That was so funny, I forgot to laugh. No really..I forgot to laugh.

It's kind of interesting how we as minorities (blacks especially) are the scapegoats and entertainers for people of Anglo-Saxon descent. The brunt of all jokes, I guess. I know this video above is completely and utterly ignorant in all of its intent to marginalize and degrade all black people into one stupid and utterly feeble-minded attempt at comedic fruition. Yes, I do realize that to those of you that aren't of Black descent will consider this merely a simple joke, but it isn't. This is the kind of buffoonery and lackluster attempts of comedic skits and vignettes that grace the TV screens. This skit in particular came from a show on the FUSE network called "The Whitest Kids You Know." You can also find skits of the "Hitler Rap" and of "Timmy Poops His Pants" on their YouTube account. I didn't realize that my generation was so absorbed with championing mediocrity through the arenas and venues of mainstream TV channels, magazines and websites. But, yes...these guys on "The Whitest Kids You Know" are basically just following in the footsteps of MTV's "Jackass." What could you expect from pseudo aspiring actors that received prime time TV slots on two very prominent networks owned by the same conglomerate corporation? Exactly! Nothing much, right?

Why must my generation be known as the 'lazy, ignorant and completely insipid' generation? Why must we be consumed with exalting mediocrity through our arenas of entertainment? I don't see what's funny or even amusing about this kind of crap! But, go figure.

...I write bombs with ink blots...(Freestyle Numero Vingt-Neuf) 28

Sometimes I sit at this desk and I have nothing to write about at the time of my writing's conception, but it is almost instantaneously that a topic seems to pop into my mind when I began to type. I am going to consider this blog a freestyle; there will be no formal structure to this writing. Sometimes, writing exercises such as this help to shape a writer's imagination and thinking process for their future writings. I was taught that writing freestyle everything that comes to your mind at the time was a great way to bring out everything that you wanted to say for the past couple of days that just didn't seem to come out in words or even text. When you write something that is extremely formal, you have to make sure that you are writing something that is ultimately perfect and flawless as can be. When a person writes something formally, they stop to think of what they should and shouldn't write. Writer restricts themselves when they write formal things such as articles, essay, etc.

Other than writing these blogs about two to three times a week on average, I also keep a notebook of poems and a journal that I write in quite frequently. Generally when I write my blogs, I try to think out a topic to write about that will make sense to most people, but when I write in my journal and book of poems, I could careless if I have misspellings or poor grammar. I guess this will be considered the first time that I published one of my blogs without any particular format or even a structure. Oh, well!

I will be back at home in California for good on the 18th of this month! Thank God! I haven't seen a palm tree or a beach since January! More importantly, I haven't seen any of my friends or family since January! But, with the grace of God, I pray that I will at least get to see all of them at least one more time.

Oh, yeah! I'm not coming back to this college; I'm transferring to Menlo College back home in the Bay Area in California!

Let's talk about the things that have not changed since the last post I wrote on Sunday. I am going to bed extremely late and waking up late as well. I feel a bit disquieted and unhappy about my situation in life right now. The feeling of something stressing you out to the points of transient insanity is not the greatest feeling especially when there's nothing you can do about the stress causing factor 3,000 miles away from home. I need to find some means to relieve the stress, so that maybe tonight I will actually be able to receive a sufficient amount of sleep. I wake up after 8-10 hours of sleep and still feel like the tiresome slack that lied awake restless in his bed with his mind racing at 100 thoughts per minute. I know that getting my ass back into the gym would be a great way to relieve this stress. For some reason, sweating in excessive amounts during a strenuous workout always seems to keep my mind and body at ease. Yes...a hard workout in the gym is exactly what I need right now, so off I go.

I have been falling asleep as the 6AM Sun creeps through my apartment's generic blinds; I have been waking up to the midday Sun's blatant stare through my window. Already, I am an anchorite; I have fallen deeper in this state of mind where all is just so banausic and mundane. Nothing in my life seems to be going right; everything has fallen by the wayside. If this cliche wasn't at all worn-out and even more revolting to hear, nothing seems to have that luster or sheen of color. The fulgid glisten of the Earth's tone's (orange, blue, green, etc.) have been traded for my ephemeral colorblindness.

Suffocate me all you need, I won't breathe but it's o.k.
You'll be somewhere around me, and I won't need air.
-Armor For Sleep

If only things would change soon enough. If only the grays that have taken over my sight would be overcome with the ordinary beautiful hues of the world. What could cause such a dark and mundane moment in a twenty-two year old's life? The age when most are graduating from college and trying to find a balance in paying bills and their rent, but yet still longing for the semesters of years past when everyday was met with oblivion and carefree. Where did those days go?

It's Like MK Ultra Controlling Your Brain

The more and more I think about the Virginia Tech murders that occurred this morning, I draw my own conclusion that was not drawn from what I have been bombarded with on the television screens and computer screens on ABC, CNN, FOX, NBC, CBS, etc. networks. I don't believe that this individual that murdered so many people in today's premeditated act was alone on this murdering spree. And, I also don't believe that he was just an ordinary college student that had a break-up with a girlfriend that caused him to go on a killing spree on campus.

MK Ultra was a government run program that was used to brainwash particular civilians by sensory and auditory divestiture. I believe that the individual at Virginia Tech was a victim of this "program," and therefore was subjected to doing such a horrendous act on this damp and dark morning. The "failing of a class and break up of a girlfriend" was basically a media ploy to get the masses to fall for such propaganda. Think about it; how else would an engineering student at one pretty prestigious university in the rural area of Virginia get the professional training of murdering over thirty people in a small increment of time? It just makes complete and utter sense to me that this individual was under the MK Ultra program. The same way the marines and many of the military personnel are trained to become such savage killing machines is the same way that individuals are brainwashed during the MK Ultra experiments.

A bystander said that the killer was killing the victims "almost professionally," and you still believe he killed so many people with two handguns? Yeah..that's extremely viable in such of an event! Wake up, people! Don't let the media talking heads pull your mind around with this "he shot the whole campus up because his girlfriend left him" crap. It's much deeper than that; he was controlled by some group or entity.

Click the links below to learn more about MK Ultra and other forms of brainwashing:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mk_ultra

http://www.mindspring.com/~txporter/sec3.htm

http://www.prisonplanet.com/articles/april2007/190407mindcontrolled.htm

Now what would cause someone to kill over thirty people then wound at least twenty-one others? What was going on in this person's life where they felt the need to walk into a dormitory and school of engineering building at the college, Virginia Tech University in Blacksburg, Virginia, and start firing an multitudinous number of rounds at other human beings that live, breathe, eat, sleep, cry, and smile just like the gunman does? This is when you know the end of times is near. Whomever your God maybe, you need to get closer to Him as soon as possible! We are living in truly chancy times and it is of the essence that the people of this Earth find some kind of solace within themselves and in their God. My prayers go out to the families and friends of the victims that were connected into this catastrophic and tragic event that took place this morning. I also pray that the gunman realize that he is in definite fault for what he has done to these innocent people. But, I am not one to judge; I am merely a bystander of this event from a desolate area hearing only of this news via Internet. I pray that all in this incident of the dead and of the wounded can have the strength to endure. Peace and blessing!

Click the link to read the article:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070416/ap_on_re_us/virginia_tech_shooting

Radio Video

Radio lyrics - Pitty Sing lyrics

Pitty Sing Music Videos

Music Video Codes by VideoCure

"Radio" by Pitty Sing

This band's self-titled album is great!

Click below:
http://www.myspace.com/officialpittysing

The underground scene has always been seen by large mainstream record labels such as Atlantic, Arista, and Columbia as a threat. There actually are a certain large number of artists that could careless about being on MTV's number one requested show, TRL, or being in heavy rotation by one of Clear Channel's radio stations. The main problem I have with the commercial music scene is that the artists don't have complete artistic control of what they can produce on their albums. They have to go through A&R's and then a board at their record company before their music can even be heard by the masses. If the music that they want to produce isn't of a "bubble-gum pop" nature, then it generally won't be made public.

The mainstream music scene is entertainment; the underground (independent) music scene is art. It's sad how music is an element of art (such as sculpture, drama, or dance) but in the mainstream circuit, has become more of an entertainment ground to produce some of the most untalented people that call themselves "artists." Since when did shaking your ass in a video like the "infectiously" popular Pussycat Dolls become popular? Oh...yeah...that's right...I forgot! They only became popular because "sex sells!" The mainstream music motto of 'showing a little ass" can be seen in both genders of male and female.

The independent and commercial music scenes are polar opposite, but when people choose music saturated with sex, drugs, and violence just because it's the popular thing to do, that's utterly sad.

Spartan Workout

And you thought your workout routine was over-exerting your body. It's truly amazing that pushing your body to limits like this really does pay off.

Sid Vicious

"My Way (Frank Sinatra Cover)"



He was 22 years old when we died of an overdose in 1979. He was known as the innovator of punk rock.

She's a sexy little goddess, fashionably modest...
-Atmosphere

There are many reasons why it is hard for me to trust anyone. Even with the people in my family, I give them "half-assed" trust (if you know what I mean). It's always been a struggle for me to trust anyone (especially family) after realizing at the age of seventeen that the unthinkable can definitely become a reality with some of your closest people in your life. I have learned that I can trust only two people in my life: God and myself.

The only trust you have at the end of the day is within yourself and your God. You can not trust that any other human being will be there for you at your weakest state of mind or body. It's an act of self-preservation. It's hard not to take it personally; it's in our genetics to preserve one's self before others. There are particular individuals that will put another above their self in certain aspects or events through the train wreck of life, but in times of integral importance, they will put their self before anyone else.

In the beds we lay at night waiting to fall asleep alone; we all wish that we had another human being that we could put our imperforate trust in. But, it's not possible.

Reality television has become the new phenomenon of programming over the past 15 years. FOX's "COPS" was the very first reality TV show to be broad casted in the US in 1989. Almost 20 years later, we (as television viewers) are more obsessed with whose going to win FOX's"American Idol" or whose going to get voted out of the house of CBS' "Big Brother" than we are with our own lives. We schedule our lives around the broad casting schedule of these reality shows. And if you can't be there for the live broad casting of your favorite show...alas, there is the great invention of TiVo! There are people in this world that "can't live" with missing one episode of ABC's "Extreme Makeover" or the Bravo network's "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy." We feel disconnected when we are having water cooler talk at our jobs about the latest winner of CBS' "The Apprentice," and don't know
what Donald Trump said to Mike Travis (fictitious name) after he "fired" him.

We are consumed with this "reality" of normal people (such as ourselves) being broad casted on TV for the whole world to see. Do you honestly think that shows such VH1's "I Love New York" or "The Flava of Love" could possibly not be supposititious at all? Are you serious? Is it even viable that people could parade around
a numerous amount of producers, and television cameras
ignorantly making complete asses of themselves for their 15 minutes of fame? Sadly, YES!

We are more engrossed with what's happening on falsified productions of reality on the small screen than we are with our own realities in our own lives. We also live as characters on reality TV ourselves; the audience isn't millions of people in their homes laughing at our mishaps and problems though. The audience is the organizations formed by the government used to scan, scrutinize, and perlustrate our lives. Don't believe it, huh? Smile for the camera next time you are walking with your iPod blaring totally disconnected to your surroundings down Embarcadero in San Francisco, Melrose in Los Angeles, or 55th St. in New York.

No longer do we need to be consumed with the pseudo lives of actors on these "reality" TV shows; we need to be more worried about what we do in our everyday lives that's being broad casted to governmental firms to keep you disconnected to true reality.