Sunday, December 26, 2010

Age 26: Progression Or Bust

I've bumped my head a few times with things before in my life, but this year was more of a year of introspection. I've learned more than anything this year that progression in one's life is more important than anything. A life without little to no evolution is a life of boredom and lacking of fulfillment. In May, I realized why I was drinking excessively after I stopped drinking for 30 days in June. I was drinking excessively from work-related stress with a parasitic client. After deciding to cut him off, I immediately felt rejuvenated. In August, I had an epiphany when visiting my hometown in the Bay Area with friends whom I had not seen in quite some time. It was then I realized that progression is more important to me in my life than anything else. I have made my mistakes of misjudging a certain few people in my life, but I can say that for the most part, my intuition about the majority of those persons were correct. That leads me to state that I have never been one of creating a new years resolution. Why create a new years resolution when you can change right now? One thing with me that has not changed is me not being willing to compromise with those whom cannot be blunt in telling me how they feel. I have never been the person that held my tongue, and it has always been most important to me (more than any other human quality) that my friends be complete in stating whom they are and how they feel about things and myself. In the past, I felt cheated by those whom could not speak their mind completely about things concerning me because I always felt like I would make it evident how I felt about the person, friend, mate, etc in our time of interaction.

That leads me to say this; I am thankful for all of my interactions (both good and bad) with everyone whom I have ever met in my life. I have realized that not everyone is meant to be your friend forever (more than ever) this year. In my twenty-six years of existence on Earth, I have engaged in interacting, loving, liking, hating, and talking with quite a few human beings. I have realized this year of 26 years on this Earth that everyone will not be there for you as you are for them. Self-preservation is the one thing that drives all of us to be selfish. This year, I realized how lending a friend or family member money is like throwing it in a wishing well. You'll never get it back in most cases. Sad to say, I even learned that knowing someone for almost 8 years and lending them money is the bear trap that can kill a friendship. More than anything, I have learned this year is that I am evolving and progressing in my profession, love life, wisdom, and spirituality. The most important thing to me (as redundant as it might sound) is that I look at my peers that I consider friends to be progressing as well. I misjudged a friend of mine in August as not progressing; I was completely wrong for it. But, as I look for the progression in the other people's lives that I consider friends, I see little to none at all. The one true thing I ask from anyone whom wants to engage on getting to know me and possibly becoming my friend is that they be blunt about their feelings towards the world at large, and even more importantly, their feelings regarding me. If they cannot do so, we really have nothing to talk about. Honestly, I feel like if you have me believing something that you know is not true, then you are no different from the other skeletons in the closet I threw by the wayside. I have no time for anyone that is not progressing and especially, I have no time for those whom cannot be black and white with me. You can save all that insecure cold exterior bullshit for the rest of the sheep that roam the Earth without any true free-thinking minds.

This year of twenty six years old has been a true eye-opener; I'm just only thankful that I have no problem with losing friends. Those that I have known (forever or for a few moments in time), thanks for the life long lesson that I cannot be friends with anyone that is a yes man or people-pleaser. I'd rather the ice-cold blatant "Oh, my God that's gonna burn so badly, but feel so good" truth.

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