I guess sometimes it's better to leave even the closest friends (so you thought) dead in the back of your mind. I wish there was a way I could throw this old friend of mine out of my mind and bury the very thought of even knowing them in a garden far off from here. Sink this ship of bullshit that still attacks my mental waves of happiness. This ship of piracy that brings dark, damp catatrosphic waves and even a hurricane that attacks my mind. Like I wrote in my blog about my confessions, I can become parasitic, but I didn't realize that the "friend" stayed around because she couldn't figure out a way to let it go.
I guess that leaving when my cousin dies was perfect timing, but I truly know that wasn't your intent. You just seen it as a way to runaway from the fake friendship in the first place. It wasn't viable to keep you around; now this, I realize. It was more of a waste of time. I can't sit here and say I'm not sad that we couldn't be adults and look beyond the bullshit. but, like you said, our whole existence amongst each other was bullshit. I tried to be honest with this broad, but sometimes I tread that thin thread of honesty and bluntness. No one ever said that life was far. But, don't expect me to be happy for you, and say that things will be happy for me too. I don't want your pity.
Keep your "friends" (well, I guess not a friend at all) at a distance.
But anyways, on a lighter note, I will have a message board/forum up very soon. Give me about a week or so. I will have the site up. I hope that all of you reading this right now will take the time and get an account on the forum.
Thanks!
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