Overstaying My Welcome

So I'm sitting here in the middle of my room watching my fingers race at this keyboard trying to understand why I am so uncertain with what I am to be doing with my life currently. Why does this thing called "college" seem like a big waste of time? I realize that receiving a degree would be a great accomplishment, but something in me just doesn't have the drive to want to finish. I think that maybe travelling over 3,000 miles to this college in the remote rural land of Maryland from the lively urban California is becoming more than displeasing. I have thought that maybe going back to California to complete my degree might be a great thing for me to do after I have realized that my graduation date has yet extended back another semester. It was projected for this December of this year of 2007, but it's looking more like May of 2008. I am already 22 years old and I feel like I am much too old to be here fraternizing with such young and puerile kids running about this campus, all hormone-raged and such. I was fine with being here at the age of 20, but now at this somewhat stale age of 22, the campus life thing is becoming a bit mundane and annoying. Getting drunk on the weekends for some sort of self-escapism from the bowels of this humdrum campus is getting a tad bit annoying.

Alas! There maybe is hope for me, yeah? Maybe if I sit here and attempt to search for some sort of solace within myself, I can find the driving factor that will give me the ambition to get the hell out of here. Yes! Now that would assuredly be great; yes, sir it would be nice.

I guess that grad school abroad will have to wait a few more semesters, yeah? It's okay; I need to prepare myself for what's beyond the Atlantic anyway.

Back To You.

This weekend was a very blessed one, if I might say so myself. I had to get off of this Eastern Shore of Maryland, so I decided to go to Baltimore to see a few of my friends. The long three-hour Greyhound bus ride Friday night was definitely worth it. Being able to spend, enjoy, and live my life with friends; now that is the true essense of life. That moment of being with someone that you find intriguing and that also excites you; that is what life is made with. Those subliminal reasons for being around your friends because they bring out the best in you and you bring out the best in them; that is what I live for. That is why I am blessed. I thank God for seeing every waking moment when the Sun bursts through my blinds. That first breath of fresh air going through my nostrils and mouth and filling up my lungs; that's what I enjoy the most. We do things such as breathing automatically and take these things for granted. Walking being also one of these gifts that we take for granted as well. But, I pray that I never take these gifts for granted again.

Traveling that far to see friends a year earlier would've been the last thing on my mind. But, I am glad and blessed that my lifestyle is starting to evolve from the selfish young man that I was before into a more wise and spiritual young man. It's interesting and even ironic how even in the event of tragedy, I have found solace within myself to become a more thoughtful man. No longer the selfish kid (well...at times...baby steps...).

God, I'm so thankful!!